A Barrel Roll: A Day In The Life Of EVE Online

Okay, so CK posted a blog challenge to the EVE community, and I haven't blogged in nearly two weeks, so I figured it was time to dust off the keyboard. (Hey, bonus, I don't have to cook tonight!)

Girls in EVE. This is a subject which seems to go to it's extremes.. You have your pewpew girls, your industrialist girls, and your boys who are girls. As one of my favorite quotes ever uttered goes, "BEHOLD! The internet! Where the men are men, the girls are men, and the children are cops!". To be honest, I've not met many women with the patience to attempt to play this game of internet spaceships - much less put up with the raging hormones of the basement dwelling penis-slappers.

Did I mention that I wasn't going to attempt to censor myself this time? No? Sorry. This isn't so much for the contest as it is for something to write about. I'm blessed to have a wife that enjoys video games, that enjoys EVE - that's right, fuckers, I don't get yelled at to get off the computer and watch Oprah with her. We go blow people up together. I can taste your jealousy, and it tastes *gooooood*.

But in all seriousness, I agree with the blog she just started - educate people about the myriad of possibilities in EVE, and you'll draw a bigger player base. In this player base will no doubt be some people who don't possess a penis. I know, amazing stories, right? But in order to create a mass appeal for a game that can take so long to learn to play *properly*, a lot of the problems sure could use a quick wrench or two.

On the short list: Fix lag, fix insurance, and start enforcing policy as if it's policy, not just "Well, it kind of depends on which GM you get...". That's crap. Make the game a bit more inviting without stripping it of the things the vets know and love, and you may just have a winning formula on your hands.

I think that perhaps that which has the biggest possibility of drawing a larger player base is, of course, Ambulation. It has to be right. It just has to be. Please, CCP.. If any of you read my blog.. *cough FALLOUT cough*.. please, get it right. Don't make all the women whores and all the guys Sylvester Stallone with a robo-dick. Don't turn EVE into that. But at the same time, don't turn it in to carebear happy fun tiem.

A bit of advice for those of you with female companions and friends who do enjoy games, however. Encourage your friends and loved ones to give it a try. Stick with them after they've played for a month and think it's all about shooting red crosses and burning space rocks into ore. Encourage them to experience EVE.. In the end, I think you'll find that they love it just as much as we do.

In the end, it's all the same to me. If it's a girl - if it's a boy - if it's in a ship - if it's in a pod.. given the chance, and enough boredom, I'm probably going to shoot at it.

(P.S. - Maybe the overwhelming number of ships that look like GIANT DICKS are a bit intimidating, yeah? <3 you, CCP.)

GIANT SPACE DONGS,
Alathus Christensen